When you do something that isn’t “you”.

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Imagine you are a character in a story. How would you describe yourself? Clever, friendly, good at making decisions? We all have a narrative about ourselves formed from experience, but it is also subjective and sometimes too rigid. When we do something that conflicts with our sense of who we are it can lead to a crisis of identity because if we don’t recognise our own character, then who on earth are we? If you “know” you are clever but do something really stupid , if you are friendly but cause hurt to those you love or if you are good at decisions but then make an important “bad” decision you can feel as if you are not the person you thought you were. This can create a crisis within you. A crisis of identity.

If you feel like you do don’t recognise yourself, remember that you are human and that any label about you may be too rigid for the real world. No-one is clever or friendly or able to make good decisions all the time so cut yourself some slack.

If you have done something that leaves your identity in question allow this to inform who you are. Let in the flexibility. Own what has happened. If you need to, scream or cry about what you did but then see it as part of life’s journey. Nobody’s life goes the way they planned, and our character is shaped by what happens to us and by what we do. It may seem tough now to accept your action but in time you will be a better, more aware person than you were before.

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